RAW30: PART 3

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​30 Years. 30 Photos. 30 Introspections. In 2018 I turned 30 years old; an age I never thought I would reach. I decided to document this moment from the vantage point of the middle of my 30th year. What I did not want to do is conduct a stereotypical vanity based disillusioned showcase masquerading as my reality. Instead I wanted to, for better or worse, be real and raw. My current state at that moment in my life. This photo series and these introspective thoughts were all captured with that notion in mind. This is that RAW. This is 30. This is RAW30. 

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Looking back, I believe the most sincere feelings I’ve had for a young lady was because motives and intentions did not distract my appreciation for the person herself.  

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By the time I was fourteen I had been to fourteen funerals. I stopped counting after that.

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There is no bigger contradiction I have displayed in my life than saying my aim is to please God and then ambitiously going after what I want, doing things the way I thought was best. 

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I’ve started acting when I was three. I went to an art integrated elementary school. I guess I’ve been working and creating for twenty-seven years. So yeah, I’m tired. 

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I’ve learned there is no joy like making someone laugh with a great joke. I’ve also learned there is no escaping detention in Jr. High when your joke is perceived as offensive. 

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Even at my most fit, I struggled with body image. When I was obese, I heard fat jokes. At my skinniest, I heard drug jokes. My focus now is balancing my love for food with being able to button my shirts and blazers. 

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I am old enough to have made vows to God, committed to them, and broke that commitment. This allowed me to see the practicality and value of true repentance.  

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Every goal that I have faithfully achieved, the outcome has never been what I expected it to be. 

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I believe I have been cheated on. I know I have been used to cheat on someone with. Fair to say, I have had some trust issues when it comes to relationships.

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Telling those you love that you love them and embracing whatever awkwardness that may occur after is one thing I will never regret. I'd rather they know than have them assume after it's too late.

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raw30 part 1

raw30 part 2

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Photographs © 2018 Shaun Garcia. All Rights Reserved.
​Introspections © 2018 Matthew Garcia. All Rights Reserved.